this blog is now dead
this blog is now dead
this blog is now dead
this blog is now dead
this blog is now dead
this blog is now dead
this blog is now dead
this blog is now dead
this blog is now dead

*bang*



relink me @ http://oxruixo.blog54.fc2.com/

thank you and have a jin <3

why do people always ask us to hold dreams when we all know it will always remain as just mere illusion of your self drawn perfection which you will never reach in eternity. but perhaps again that was their aim, to see us crushed and down, so that they can slap their hands together and throw their heads back in glee. go ahead. i am not stopping you. but that was all a thing of the past, i have now learnt my lesson. they ask whats a life without dreams. i answer it as living in reality. dreams is a privilige to those who deserve it. i've left mines somewhere along the road long ago.

interesting job which you enjoy with less pay or boring job that you hate with more pay?

isnt it obviously how a majority of us tend to bend towards the latter.
we all try to puff our chest and insist that we will not, but reality along with time will prove to us, how unrealistic the first is.
they say do what you really want, what you like.
that is only to humour you while you still have the time and energy to spare and play about.
but as you grow older, they slowly tell you to stop playing, stop being stupid, stop being unrealistic when they were the ones who used to bend over and coo at you "next time what do you want to be?" and regardless of whether you answered superman or the ice cream seller, they coo back "WAHHHH, thats good!"

and now when you even dare to mention anything which starts with "I want to..." you get slapped back with a glare and the famous line...


STOP DREAMING.

L O V E LOVELY KONKON.
mowota for the win.
mowota > fangirls
FLATDOWN.
i thought i had a shock when i went for KAT-TUN`s concert, mowota`s are a million time more amazing.
their fandom-ness AMAZES me BIG.
80% was to enjoy the concert, 20% was to observe the wotas XDD
and yupp, i am not going to whine or weep or be emo about konkon graduating.
sure, i cried myself MAD, screaming and screaming and weeping, but then, at the end, i am so glad i manage to scream omedetou loudly, smiling.
コンコン、卒業おめでとう。
and that aside for now, i really truly enjoyed the concert.
H!P is really L O V E.
when they started off with all for one and one for all, i could almost tear. the whole feeling was just so.. H!P. the whole family kind of aura. from the most familiar Morning Musume, Biyuuden, Nono to Berryz, C-ute and Eggs... just like the song, all for one and one for all. and the best part, everyone was really like one, dancing and screaming and jumping together, the adrenaline rush was out of the world. Tsunku is a genius, without a doubt. H!P is LOVE. period.

the song list was surprisingly good. wasnt really pleased when i first saw it, but i guess, when you are there watching them live, everything is cool. C-ute is infectious. i so regreted not buying all three of their singles. their songs are so so addictive. bought masara blue jeans only... now i want soku dakishimete and ooki na ai de motenashite badly. airi-hime pwns my soul totally. she is really mature and kickass for someone her age. her vocal is almost too good for H!P standards, and her new hair is just so hawt. (ok i know using hawt to describe a 10 years old is wrong but...) and MAIMAI x shades ROFLMAO. such a darling. *pats head* she is sooooooo small, but the energy level and professionalism is so there. there you go. i am biting my own tongue again. months ago i was still mocking c-ute, and now i am their fan.

oh, digression but same applies to GAM. listening to their new song now... i guess when you have ayaya x miki, nothing can go wrong. they are both undoubtly the better vocals H!P have. yes, i am complimenting Mikitti. miracle befall. but i really really loved her boogie train `03 performance. she really shines on stage. and her hair was really pretty that night, and she isnt half as annoying when she smiles. but yah, i still dont like her. next.

First there was Eri x Risa Hajimete no Happy Birthday <3 Love this song tons, but i dont think it was anyone's birthday then but still who cares. i kinda like this pairing, but not as much as ai x risa T-T it'll do though. GAKI-SAN, ERIRIN <3 their voice really suit the song, maybe not so much gaki-san, but eririn is really the next rika i guess~

Nono`s solo performance of Uwasa no Sexy Guy was wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy cool. feathers. LMAO. but its really sad that she fell off the stage on saturday, so it wont be in the dvd i think... T-T whyyyy. i liked the performance. though nono-tan is nowhere near sexy, but i love her squeakish voice. I miss W T-T aibon come back...

KOI*KANA.

Screamed my effing throats out the moment the melody started playing. I shocked myself even. A handful of wotas turned back to glare at me, but i couldt give a damn and kept screaming and jumping like i dropped half my brains or something. And i really love the dance too *points points* YAY <3 SAY <3 love the song with my soul. She is a miracle to make me say this. Ok, but my love for Koharu stops here. Only for the song and her as tsukishima kirari, not as Morning Musume Kusumi Koharu.

OH YES. and Berryz new song is L O V E too. MIYABI <3 i love her solo parts best. so was kinda peeved when momoko took over her parts on sunday cause she was absent from the concert due to school events *sobs* i think my favourite member in Berryz moved from Risako to Miyabi XDD but Risako still really throws me off my feet. i really cant believe she is still primary 6. she is so... sexy. LMAO. ok wronggggg. but sexy. XD esp when she appeared for second MC, with half her yukata off her shoulder *screams* ok i am a girl k. and her performance with ai-chan and airi-hime for Goodbye Natsu O was kickass. though ai-chan pretty much pwned the whole thing. ai-chan is really solo frontal material. she is really loud and strong live. IMHO definitely better than reina. and REALLY pretty and cool too. and may i remind all that Ayaya's songs aint easy to sing to start off with and, its is GOODBYE NATSU O of all songs, and she screamed the entire song on saturday and still had voice to sing it on sunday *bows* she is the queenie.

when musume came out i could almost cry. i so love the camera man. all focus was on Konkon (DOH , but still, i am damn deprived so dont mind me) her smile was gorgeous. she really shined very brightly on stage. her energy level, the never fading smiles, her sincerity, her every move. my eyes was absolutly LOCKED on her every single second. i SWEAR i will never find anyone else i love more than Konkon. Not even Jin. I would have really killed myself if i missed this last chance to see her. And there will never be another person who can take over her position in MM after she leaves. I almost hope they never ever sing Namida Ga Tomaranai Houkago ever. I cant bear the thought of someone singing her parts (i predict her lines will be given to Sayu, and as much as I love Sayu with my every being, please no. and if they dare let Koharu a single solo line in this holy song, i swear i will rip her ponytails off her scalp.) Koharu should stick to her Koi*Kana. Its really good. ah where was I. AMBITIOUS. The first time i could reach all the notes cause i as practically ripping my entire throat out screaming the song. And its so much fun to dance together too <3 BOYS AND GIRLS BE AMBITIOUS. *does hand sign* JUMP JUMP TAKE OFF SHIYOU ZEEEEEEEEEEE! its interesting how everyone participates in the concert with their every cell, not just waving sticklights, but actually performing together, cause every jump and move, the lightstick synchornizes and its really really cool. though i am jealous that the ojisan wotas dances WAYYYYY better than me. *hmmmph* well i dont spend 14 hours a days dancing to PV dance shots anyway.

Renrebo21 was extremely high too, without a doubt one of the best MM number ever to date. and the HOYYYY <3 love the dance and vibe to the song. sayu got a nice nice solo line in the song too (: but right after the song, they cut straight into konkon and makocchan's letter reading. GAH. i was so unprepared please. (ok i lied, i knew it was coming) but still... with every second into the concert, only meant Konkon's graduation from MM's nearer. I love love love konkon and makocchan together so much. their letters to each other was really sweet, and if i am not wrong makocchan is older than Konkon but somehow it seemed that makocchan was taking care of Konkon, and was telling her that no matter how far apart, they will still be as loving and that she will always be there for her no matter what. of course i knew all along, but through this, it hit upon me even more how much makocchan was a strong presence amongst MM whom everyone can lean their shoulder on and gain power from. Not only Konkon, even ai-chan and yossui. It sort of saddens me, how much she done but all these goodness of her is not so very widely known to everyone. She is really sort of like kei-chan, the nanny like person of the group who everyone can look up to. But makocchan come across to me though one of the interview i read, as someone who has her fair share of insecurities and such, but even despite all that, she still takes care of her own problems, and of others. Its really sweet... and a really really shameful lost to the group.

But i started bawling like mad when Konkon was about to read her letter. She couldnt read them for a moment as she was sobbing and choking on her words. Surrounded by the full hall of pink lightsticks, and everyone chanting her name in unison.
I cant tell you how glad I was there that moment. It was almost like a dream come true to be able to take part in her graduation. And I couldnt stop crying as she read her letter, and her 5 years trip as a Musume ending that very day. All the images just rushed though my heads even as I head my eyes locked on her. Times when she first entered as a Akaten, then slowly as she began to improve, 13 nin gakari no x'mas, HPH, her intelligence in Okajo, her splendid run in sports festivals, her first solo lines in Do it! Now, her first main lead song, the blissful looks when she eats something or when she wins in magic restaurant, all the tears she shed in all the senpai's graduation, till today this very momeny, her own's. Yet surprisingly, i wasnt as sad as i thought i would be. Instead, i was happy for her. because she chose this path on her own, and i admire her bravery to not choose the steady path already there for her, but an uncertain and shaky path, but nevertheless, her own choice, to chase after what she want, after her own dream. She is really the most amazing person I have ever met.


Konkon, sotsugyou omdetou.


いざ進め　世界の熱い奴ら
ハッピーエンド目指して
いざ進め　日本の熱い奴ら
普段着でいいじゃん
いざ進め　三丁目の熱い奴ら
お隣さんにも声かけ
いざ進め　うちらに熱い奴ら
孤独なんかじゃない
いざ進め　本気で熱い奴ら！

いざ進め！...

towards your goal, all the best.

過ぎ去った季節　巡り合ってすれ違う心
痛みを食い縛ってでも　触れ合いたい
あなたの吐息の熱　今でも生暖かいまま
零れ落ちた一滴の涙が教えてくれた
どんなにあたなを求めているか
好き。だけじゃ収まらないこの思い
苦しいほど愛しい
でも壊したくない　あなたの無邪気
だから手放すことを選んだ

あなたがいつまでも笑えるようである道を。




泣きたい時に泣いて　悲しいから
笑いたいときに笑って　嬉しいから

感動した　一つの歌声
心に響く言葉

バカなぐらい感情的で調子が狂いそう

でも抑えきれない涙と叫び

今日もあなたを求めて堕ちる。

愛しい。憎い。好き。嫌い。

複雑でみんな同じ。

これが最後のheartbreak


i am deeply addicted to Deep River Album again.
HIKKI <3
steph`s right, i am soo emo recently
cant help it, she`s leaving (TOMMOROW), Konkon`s graduation is in 5 days (GASPS) and i am on my mood swing recently.
life will still go on.
HIKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.
shall buy Ultra Blue Album.
Sakura Drops is on heavy rotation now.

ねぇ　聞こえる　私の声が。

ai-chan`s new solo song.
i want it on a singleeeeeeeeeeeee.
growls.

camera handling test was *inserts sighs*
i think i didnt fail but it didnt look very positive either
i didnt know how to fregging do white balance and plug in the fucking mic.
gotta agree with shereen that we are being way too vulgar recently.
fudge fish fuck.
growls.
needs anger management.
*breathes in breathes out*


*beams*
life rocks.


right.

no, i dont need anger mangement, i need a temporary hospitalization in IMH.

繰り替えされる　Everyday
夢を見たんだ
間違えは失敗じゃない

shall bounce off to compile a cheery song playlist.

first one in
AYAKA - Real Voice (lmao, not face)
nice song
she really have a strong vocal and the lyrics are kcikass.
oh and got steph to like Ikimono Gakari too <3

clique dinner yest at taka <3
thank you to steph for the kiwi XD and rachie for the keychain <3
chen came too!
havent seen her for so long *hugs*
ate pepper lunch after persuading steph that it doesnt matter that your clothe will smell and nobody will care
sat down and talked talked talked
i am still damn amazed at our large genre of things we talk abt
capital punishment to monks to education system in singapore
it was like a random facts exchange session

the one that i remembered the most was steph saying that in china, for death sentence, you have to pay for your own bullet.

LIKE WTH.
LMAO.

then after that was ice creammmmm (((((:
the dont know how many millionth one these few weeks already <3
Hagen Daz double scoop, strawberry and melon <3
MY LOVE.
got steph to like Melon too
rachie is a fan of it too <3
i miss baskin robin.
in another 3 days *grins*
i cant believe steph has phobia of gelatos.
and she thought they came from TURKEY.
the one that has a mostached creepy person making a fool out of you before letting you eat it XD
ROFL.
no gelato is from ITALY, the land of getties.
after that took neoprints *peaces*
havent taken one in ages <3
then we hit the roads
funn night, and if only jennifer could make it
cant wait till the next time we all go out together again <3

lydia was damn right

`you cant be rich in JC (or poly) cause you cannot save money. All the money you save are used to go out with secondary school friends.`

LMAO.
but its definitely worth it.
more so then blowing them on goddamned cabfare.
and next time the moment i step onto the cab i should just shout my destination and plunge the earpiece into my ears, shut my eyes and be oblivious to my surrounding.
these few days, all the cabbies keeps engaging me in their conversation of how the cabfare rising is affecting them, the government, the this and the that.
LIKE HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
do i look like i can help you.
and of course me being a generally VERY nice person, just smiled, laughed and nodded for the full ride.
man.
what possessed me to do that.
next time i play therapist to whining cabbies, i should start charging them.
and the morning S$2 surcharge is a ROBBER.

嵐が吹き止まない日々
見上げる事すら怖くなった
それでも願い続ける
晴れの空。

信じる強さ　希望を捨てない勇気
それが明日を笑顔で照らしてくれる。

AHHHHHHHHHH.
i want to dig out my Hikki`s deep river album.
i miss her voice so so much.
listening to her final distance now and i feel like crying.
fine i m crying already *bawls*
compiled my emo playlist XDD

Heaven - Ayumi Hamasaki
Final Distance - Utada Hikaru
First Love ~piano edition~ - Utada Hikaru
Hana - Orange Range
I Wish - Morning Musume
Never Forget - Morning Musume
Koe - Morning Musume
Owaranai Yoru to Yume - Biyuuden
Magokoro no Michi - Biyuuden
Tanpopo ~grand symphonic version~ - Tanpopo
Goodbye Days - YUI
Tokyo - YUI
Towa ni Tomo ni - Kobukuro
Sakura - Ikimono Gakari
Tsuki no Michi - KAT-TUN
Will Be With You - KAT-TUN
Precious One - KAT-TUN
Care - Akanishi Jin
Precious - Yuna Ito
Dasenai Tegami -V6
Yume No Kazudake Ai Ga Umarete - NewS
Zutto - NewS
Everything - Misia
Kingyo Hanabi - Otsuka Ai
Sensu - Otsuka Ai
Hanamizuki - Hitoto Yo

Ai Araba Its All Right - Morning Musume (LMAO <3)

ok, off to compile it for real.
yeps and shooting tommorow.
still have to edit interview for Medisoc and do effing webgraph.

Dreamweaver weaves nightmares.

QUITTED ALL JOBS FOR GOOD.
i am jobless now.

YAY.

5 MORE DAYS TO JAPAN.
ZOMG.
yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
but this will be one tough week.

Medisoc - interview video must be editted and submitted by monday 1pm
Marketing - quiz on thursday
Webgraph - (#%&)#$'%&$'(%&$)%'($ at all cost avoid getting an effing C grade.
Graphcomm - green tea afverts
Locvid - CAMERA HANDLING TEST. *snorts* i will be over the moon if i even get 1/5 (yes it is upon fregging 5.)
CATS*WTF* - video shooting on tues and wed mornings
S&W *WTFagain* - make up on wed and thurs mornings

then astalabista i am off to JAPAN.
*beams*

i will survive.




i think.

and three more days till steph leaves for US T-T
met up today with her and rachie for pirates (which i fell asleep through half the movie or somthing)
went sukisushi too XDD
traded stories about our life updates till today
been a really really long time since we went out together, and it will be a long long time again till we meet again
then we were talking about traveling overseas together
lets all go Bali together, and Japan too (:
or run after sheeps in NZ XDD
i missed rachie`s *inserts rolls eyes and exasperated WTH look* and steph`s never ending bank of interesting happenings around her
it was funn ^^
meeting again on monday for dinner ((:
but then after that we will all be back to our own lives again...
like rachie said, i miss my C3 lives very very much too.
the days we ran up to 4th floor at G block, took photos in toilet, and generally being havocs.
nostalgix <3

日々につれて重なるいっぱいの思い出
でも失うことの無いその重さ
ひとつ、ひとつ、全部が宝物
ぎっしり詰まった喜怒哀楽
傷つけあった日も、流した涙も
いまは見ればすべては微笑ましい昨日のかけら
それを胸に抱きしめ　目に焼きつけ
明日へと進む力になってくれる。